ARGUMENT TOPIC

Should the words "Under God" be removed from the Pledge of Allegiance, and "In God We Trust" from the US currency?

REVIEW OUTLINE

1. Introduction
a.Introduce the topic: blackberry smartphones
b. Describe criteria topics for reviewing
c. Set tone of review based on audience focus (young adults to mid 30-40s, usually more geared for businessmen)
2. Thesis
a. The BlackBerry Smartphone, with its many different models, is a great phone with easy to use technology for all types of people.
b. Clear meaning and value, balanced, and reasonable
3. Criteria
a. Price, business compatibility, customer service, easy to use
b. See template [B] for detailed response
4. Counter argue
a. Compare BlackBerry with iPhone and other smartphone/pda devices
b. Anticipate questions and refute or accommodate objections
5. Conclusion
a. Reiterate criteria
b. Give overall rating of the BlackBerry Smartphone

REVIEW CRITERIA

When shopping for a new phone, people treat it as if they are buying a new house or a new car, like their lives depend on it. It is not an easy decision to make, but when you know exactly what you’re looking for, things can be a little bit easier. For one thing, the price is a big issue. Costumers generally want more for less. BlackBerry products give you just that. The most expensive BlackBerry out right now is no more than $199.99, which is the BlackBerry Bold with the newest software and technology. You can even get a BlackBerry Pearl for as little as $49.99. Compared to other phones with the same technology, the BlackBerry is relatively cheap. Another thing to think about when looking for a phone, especially if you are a businessman, is the great use of computer software to make this PDA type phone easy to use for business and work. You can sync all of your e-mail accounts with your phone, download Word and Excel documents straight from your computer or e-mail, and it is very easy to make conference calls with several people. Costumer service within the company is also a big factor. Many everyday people don’t usually think about this until the day something goes wrong with their phone. The BlackBerry website has many different pages with useful information to help you if something happens to your device, as well as a phone number to contact for emergency help. There is even a Community Forums page to check out. The last and most important thing buyers generally look for is how easy it is to navigate through the phone. BlackBerry software makes it very simple to use their products, so people of all ages and with different technology backgrounds can use it without trouble.

AUDIENCE ANALYSIS

The BlackBerry Smartphone is widely used throughout the world. This phone is mainly used by the business and working class, but also many teenagers and young adults enjoy using the BlackBerry for everyday uses, such as texting and internet. The Smartphone includes normal cell phone features, such as calling and texting. What makes this a Smartphone, however, are the other, more modern features. BlackBerry’s are basically tiny handheld computers with their software and programs. It even has Word, Excel, and PowerPoint applications to help out businessmen on the go. Some things the consumers value in the BlackBerry are the build and styles of the many different Smartphones, the wireless e-mail access, and long lasting battery. Another thing that makes people choose BlackBerry’s over iPhones is the full non-touch screen QWERTY keyboard that won’t make up words as you try to type into a text or website. The consumers using this product for work find it very valuable that the BlackBerry is compatible with any computer software. In a review comparing the BlackBerry and iPhone’s Corporate Usage on boygenuisreport.com, the author stated that the Smartphone was “the hands-down winner for a perfect desktop extension.” Because many BlackBerry users have been given the phone by their company, many of their friends also use these devices. However, there are also some iPhone users out there who would like to change their friends’ views and make them iPhone users as well. It would hurt consumers not to know about all the features of both the BlackBerry and the iPhone and compare them. Just one factor could change a BlackBerry user into an Apple. It is very easy for Smartphone users to keep up with the new technology because there are automatic “over-the-air” updates for the software just about once a month or every two months. Also, with the applications new that keep popping up left and right, it makes it even easier to stay in touch with modern society. Some direct benefits of having the BlackBerry Smartphone include the RIM software allowing for easy downloading of applications as well as the effortless management of email and other programs, such as Word. Because the phone is used all over the world by people of many different ages backgrounds, it is simple to use and navigate through, but it is also as complex as a normal computer for those who need use it for work. Other benefits of having a BlackBerry include the entertainment portion of the phone, like the games and music player. Teens that use this product mainly purchase it for the great time-wasting game of Brick Breaker, but there are also other applications and games available for download in the BlackBerry AppWorld. One thing customers should know about the phone before buying it is the somewhat expensive cost. Of course, depending on the style of Smartphone, the price will vary, but the top of the line Curve and Bold range from $129.00-$199/00. No matter what phone you use now, check out a BlackBerry Smartphone and decided if it is the right choice for you.

REVIEW PROCESS

The topic I will be reviewing is a BlackBerry cell phone. I will rate it with a 5-star rating system.

COMMENTARY DRAFT

A jam-packed stadium, hoards of rowdy tailgaters, and crazed fans are just some of the things usually observed on a college campus during game day. It is special events like football games that truly show student’s pride in their university. Unfortunately, University of Central Florida doesn’t really measure up when it comes to occasions like this. Of course, the Memory Mall is full of students and alumni tailgating and pre-gaming. But when it comes to the actual games, our 50,000 person stadium is only about two-thirds of the way filled. School spirit not only means participating in athletic events, but also just having pride in your university. It is a very important phenomenon to a school, because it better distinguishes and defines it. When students have a good sense of school spirit, there is a certain atmosphere around the campus. I feel that though UCF has one of the largest student bodies in the United States, we are lacking that sense of pride and character.

Being a freshman at the University of Central Florida has been an interesting experience so far. I came in expecting to be completely overwhelmed by upper classmen with loads of Knights pride, and have found out that they’re just about as in to school as I am. Sure, they have UCF t-shirts to wear every other day and carry their keys on black and gold lanyards, but is that enough to say these students have tons of school spirit? Because of the attitudes of other students around me, I am not very prideful of my own school. I decided it was time to get involved with my surroundings, and auditioned for the KnightMoves dance team. KnightMoves is not only a dance team, but we are also a part of the spirit team. Being an active member of the spirit squad means that I must have pride in my school, and I must participate in all events occurring on and off campus. Since I am attending all of these school sponsored occasions and athletic games, I see everything that goes on at school. We only dance at football, basketball, and volleyball games, however, as a team, KnightMoves goes to many other games to support our athletes. Even though some other sports may not be as popular as football and basketball, I feel the students here at UCF should still want to take part in them, and facilitate a better atmosphere for the athletes to play in. If more kids tried to get more involved with a club, sorority/fraternity, or a sport like I did, they would feel more connected to the school, and most likely have more pride in their school.

Talking to other students around campus, I found that some disagree with my perspective; however many students concur that there is a lack of school spirit throughout UCF. When asked about his observances of students’ spirit during events on campus, junior, Kevin Kulbacki, says “No, I feel that the average UCF student goes to most events solely for free food and other items like t-shirts, and not because they are loyal to UCF or have pride in their school.” He also thinks that there is more than Student Government can be doing to get the kids more involved with their campus, but there is only so much. It’s like leading a horse to water. SGA can prepare all of these free events, but it is up to the students to take advantage of them and to actively participate. One event that many students are looking forward to is Spirit Splash, which takes place of the Friday during Homecoming Week. This is another event I also get the chance to dance at, and I am really hoping for a big turnout from the students. With Spirit Splash being one of UCF’s longest, and most known traditions, I am expecting a majority of the school to be there and take part.

Kulbacki’s brother attends Louisiana State University, and has experienced another school’s view of great school spirit; “It by no means matches any of the other true Southern Schools, in which college football isn’t just something to do, it’s a way of life.” In saying this, Kulbacki believes that if the University of Central Florida had a better football team, the pride amongst the students would strengthen. This should not be the case though. Just because a major sports team isn’t one of the top rated teams in the nation doesn’t mean that the students at that university shouldn’t still support them. William L Hamilton, from the NY Times, believes the same thing, and witnessed this phenomenon at an Ole Miss game in 2006. Hamilton writes, “Five hours later, the Rebels were defeated by Wake Forest in a blinding rain that pushed a 5 p.m. kick off back to 7 p.m. But the party in the Grove held its ground until midnight.” Even though Ole Miss didn’t have a great game, and ended up losing, the fans still had enough spirit within them to keep their heads up. These are the kinds of stories that UCF fans need to read, so they know it is okay to lose a game and still have pride in the school. In 2007 our new Bright House Networks Stadium held it’s first game, and to our dismay, the Knights lost to the Texas Longhorns. But with the new stadium brought a new sense of pride within the Knight Fans, and that helped pull our football team through to be undefeated for the rest of the season. What we need now is a new eye opener to rekindle that spirit. At the four home football games this season, there are always thousands of empty seats, and half of the people there leave before the fourth quarter even starts. If we keep this up, it will drag the hopes of the football players down, and we won’t have another season like in 2007.

Whether or not a student thinks UCF has great school spirit, there is always room for improvement. I strongly believe that once more students get involved with the sports and clubs; we can have one of the strongest universities in the nation. With over fifty thousand students attending our school, this should be no problem to achieve. When there is a free event, get all of your friends together and go hang out for a while. Maybe try to meet new people there, and even sign up to become a part of the club sponsoring the event. There is only one way to truly “Bleed Black and Gold”, and that is to exude pride for the Knights at University of Central Florida.

COMMENTARY THESIS

School spirit is a huge phenomenon that each university in the United States observes. It plays a big part in the unity of the school, as well as many athletic teams. Pride among college students varies within different social groups. Depending on who you ask, you will get different answers. However, I have noticed a majority of University of Central Florida students do not have enough school spirit. Once the Bright House Football Stadium was built, a huge boost of spirit among the students at UCF was observed. That spirit has died down since the freshmen and sophomores of this year don’t know what it was like not having their own football stadium. UCF’s Student Government is doing everything they can to get another increase in school spirit, though they haven’t seen the results they want just yet. They have so many free events set up for the students, but hardly anyone goes. People will go to the event, get their free item, and leave. Because UCF is the third largest university in the country, I feel we should have one of the most spirited schools, which means we really need to step it up.

COMMENTARY OUTLINE

Topic: School Spirit

1) Introduction to topic
a) School spirit, and lack thereof
b) What it means to the university
c) How it affects the students
d) Thesis

2) My perspective
a) Spirit team/dance team
b) How being a freshmen affects my school spirit
c) What I see going on at events

3) Student’s perspective
a) Comparing UCF pride with other universities in the US
b) His take on free events
c) What he has seen in his time here at UCF

4) Spirit and athletics
a) Lack of pride in our football team because we are not a top nationally ranked team
b) Very few students show up to watch other team sports
c) Making use of the football lottery
d) Amount of students tailgating prior to football games vs. number of students who actually go to the game
e) New football stadium

5) SGA’s steps to more spirited university
a) Having more free events
b) Getting all the students involved with activities on campus
c) Creating lasting traditions, such as the Spirit Splash during Homecoming Week

6) Conclusion
a) Why school spirit is important
b) What students can do to improve school spirit and pride on their own

c) How to truly “Bleed Black and Gold”

COMMENTARY LETTER

Dear Chelsea,

Hey girl! So I’ve been noticing some interesting things about UCF, and I wanted to write you to see if the same things were going on over at FSU... As you know, I am part of the Spirit Team here, and so I am always pretty much on top of all the different activities going on around school. I kind of expected everyone to be so gung ho about school spirit once I got to college, but I don’t really feel that way any more now that I am actually here. There are definitely certain people who are more than spirited enough for the whole school, but then there are other students that I see who could care less about being a part of the school. There are over 50,000 kids at UCF, and I would expect a whole lot more of them to be excited about showing off their school pride. Do you see the same kind of thing going on at Florida State?
The student government at UCF plans so many events for all the students to try to get them more involved, but the only way to get people there is to have free food. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of the free food. I just think students should want to take part in their schools activities without the benefits of free items. Student Government does way too much work for student involvement for it to all just be wasted. There are always different organizations loitering around the Student Union trying to get others to join. Most of the time kids just walk right past the groups and completely ignore the people trying to talk to them.
And get this… for every home football game SGA has a lottery for free student tickets, and our student section at the games is STILL not filled! I know that UCF football isn’t as great as other schools, but that’s no reason to skip out on a football game. Especially when it could possibly be free for the students! Going to the football games is just part of the college experience. If I wasn’t on the dance team, I know I would definitely be putting my name in the lottery every week so I could have a chance to go for free. And even if I didn’t get it, I would buy a ticket. I know that the football team at FSU is much stronger than here, but do you think that the strength of the team would change the turnout of the number of students at each game? I mean, even if I didn’t like football, I would go to the game just to watch Knightro do his thing down on the field. He is by far the coolest mascot of any university.
What are some traditions your school has? For a school as young as UCF, we have a lot of spirit traditions. My favorite one is the Spirit Splash during our homecoming week, which is the one day of the year everyone is actually allowed in our Reflection Pond. There should be a pretty good turnout to that event.
Let me know all about FSU and how the school spirit is there, I would love to see the comparisons between the schools! Thanks for all of your help! Can't wait to hear from you, Chels!


Sincerely, Julia

COMMENTARY INTERVIEW

Interview with UCF junior, Kevin Kulbacki

1. Do you think the students at UCF have enough school spirit?

No, I feel that the average UCF student goes to most events solely for free stuff, like T-Shirts, and not because they are loyal to UCF athletics.

2. What else could SGA and other organizations do to increase school spirit?

I think that SGA could work on creating new traditions at UCF, similar to Spirit Splash, that could get students pumped up and excited for UCF.

3. Every football game has a lottery for free tickets, why do you think it hasn’t ever been completely filled?

I think that many students this year feel that our football team is not nearly as good as when we won the CUSA Championship a few years ago and don't want to see a team that is not absolutely amazing. Our fans will only be happy when we are the best.

4. How does school spirit at UCF compare with other universities?

I think that UCF is pretty average in terms of school spirit. It by no means matches any of the other true Southern School in which college football isn't just something to do, its a way of life. I also feel that we are much more spirited than most Northern schools.

5. What do you think is the best tradition in UCF school spirit?

Spirit Splash is by far the best tradition at UCF!

6. How does the amount of school spirit compare to when UCF did not have its own football stadium?

I think our fans have become spoiled by the on-campus stadium. Back when we played across town, people would drive out to make a day of a UCF football game. However, now that the stadium is on-campus, I feel that UCF football and tailgating has become more of "just something to do" to most students

7. How do you know what you know?

I have first hand experienced UCF school spirit for 3 years and last year surveyed students about UCF school spirit

8. Who are you to the subject?

I am a junior at UCF who has been very involved in UCF activities through UCF student organizations, individually, and through working with UCF athletics. I have seen first hand how spirited our student body is through all aspects

9. How is this event connected to other events?

Everything to do with UCF and the student body is related to school spirit. If UCF wins in one sport, then school spirit gets a boost. If we lose then the opposite occurs.

10. What if things were different?

If UCF had better sports teams, then school spirit would be far increased. Also, if we had more traditions then the students would get more interested and more involved in the school.

11. Why is this important?

It shows that in order to increase school spirit, UCF must establish itself and its sport teams in order to get the student body to really show some true school spirit. That is the only way they will ever live up to the slogan "I bleed Black and Gold."

COMMENTARY ANALYSIS

METROSEXUAL MATRIMONY

JULIA RICE, SAMANTHA SALERNO, ANDREW MATA

1. What is the trend or situation on which the commentary focuses?

The commentary focuses on grooms becoming more involved in their weddings.

2. Does the author give the reader an interesting introduction to the issue? Why or why not?

The introduction to the topic is very interesting. The author gives insight to how much the groom really cares about the wedding, giving examples of what the groom did for his groomsmen such as the manicures, and white-gold bracelets, and his $1,800 tux.

3. Does the author explain the context of the issue? How in-depth does he or she go? What do you think this signifies regarding the intended audience of the commentary?

The author gives people’s opinions throughout the article and quotes people, and doesn’t really go into the depth of the issue. The introduction goes in-depth with the story of the groom getting ready for the wedding, but the rest of the article is based on opinions. The audience probably is focused on what the grooms and brides think about the fact that grooms are getting more involved in wedding planning. It is intended to inform the audience of what these men are thinking.

4. What are the possible causes of the trend or situation the author explores?

A possible cause is that because the women were so involved in planning their wedding for a long time, men have risen to the occasion and are now involved just as much if not more than women. Also, now that women are becoming more concerned with their careers, they are taking less time to plan for their weddings. This is making the men have to take on a new role of being the wedding planner.

5. What examples or observations does the author give from his or her own life to back their belief that these are the possible causes?

The author doesn’t give any examples from his own life.

6. What is the author's stance on the topic?

The author does not really have an opinion on the topic. He just gives examples of stories he has heard about. It seems like the author thinks it is funny that grooms want to take charge of their weddings.

7. What significance does the author see in this trend or situation?

The situation is significant because the author is stating that times have changed, and men are becoming more and more actively involved in wedding planning. This change could cause problems between the bride and groom when it is time to plan, or it could settle problems if the woman doesn’t want to be involved in planning.

COMMENTARY DEVELOPMENT

The state of Florida is attempting to pass legislation to ban abortions, and “establish and protect a human being’s ‘personhood’ from the moment of fertilization” (centralfloridafuture.com). Within this bill, they are hoping add in the prohibition of all types of birth control. This includes pills such as “the morning after” pill, and anything else that will stop the fertilization between the sperm and the egg. While I think it is wrong to abort a baby at any time, I do not agree that the government should be able to regulate how you use your birth control. These other pills are just used as safety nets. When reading the article about the amendment on CentralFloridaFuture.com, I came across a few comments that gave me more insight to the topic. One writer said that if they are banning anything and everything that can prevent the sperm and egg from fertilizing, then the government might as well ban condoms, because they create a barrier disallowing this fertilization to occur. Another concerned reader wrote that if the government is doing this to try and save money, it is going to do just the opposite. The money that would normally be used for the pills and contraceptives would then go to support for raising children. Since it would be the state of Florida’s legislation, it would take effect in all colleges as well. No college pharmacy or drug store would be allowed to sell birth control or condoms to their students. This would increase the amount of students partaking in unsafe sex, and would probably lead to an increase in the number of young parents with unexpected children on the school campuses. I do not believe that Florida should pass this amendment.

COMMENTARY INVENTION

• School taking precautions to stop the spread of the H1N1 Swine Flu
• State amendment to “establish and protect a human being’s ‘personhood’ from the moment of fertilization” (centralfloridafuture.com); banning all types of birth control throughout the state of Florida, including college campuses
• Student organizations giving away free items/food to get others involved

MEMOIR FINAL

FOREIGN EXCHANGE TO TURKEY

Waking up at six a.m. to start my day usually isn’t my thing, but for this, I was ecstatic. I was finally getting a chance to venture into a world unknown to me. I was headed to Turkey with my Foreign Exchange student, Ferda, to complete the second half of our exchange. Even though I was so eager to try out this exchange, doubt flowed through my mind. Was I really ready to go to a foreign country all by myself? I had never been anywhere without a family member, and I really didn’t know what to expect. The whole plane trip there I kept questioning myself, and thinking prejudice things. At fifteen, could I really experience and enjoy a trip like this? Everything seemed to go downhill once I began evaluating myself.

After seventeen hours of flying, we were in Istanbul, Turkey, and I was exhausted and cranky. Ferda received news that our last flight from Istanbul to Izmir was delayed a few hours, so she called her aunt in Istanbul, and she lent Ferda and me her car and driver for a tour around the city. Before I arrived in Turkey, I imagined it to look like the Aladdin movies, and have sand dunes everywhere with exotic architecture and what not, but my first glimpse of Istanbul was nothing like that. Picture your perfect paradise on a Greek island, with blue oceans and cloudless skies; that is was these western Turkish cities look like. The sights I saw were unreal, and I began to slowly peel off the judgmental thoughts I had about the country. Istanbul is one of Turkey’s largest cities; all along the mountains you could see the millions of houses and other buildings. There were brilliant mosques, crowds of people, and the last thing you would expect… beautiful beaches, with sparkling, clear waters. As we drove over the bridge connecting Asia and Europe, I thought to myself how much I wanted to get back into my own bed and fall asleep, but I was overwhelmed with this amazing feeling, and I just couldn’t get rid of it. All I can remember thinking was “Wow! I am really in Turkey. How crazy is this?!” I was a tremendously nervous for my adventure in this peculiar country, but I was ready for it to start.

Soon enough, it was time for us to head back to the airport for our final flight to Izmir, Turkey. Thank God this was only a 45 minute flight; I began to think that I would be stuck in the sitting position forever for all the flying. Once we arrived in Izmir and picked up our luggage, Ferda and I headed off to find her parents. Her dad, Macit, and mom, Shenaz, were waiting eagerly for us at the “Arrivals” exit. As soon as they saw us, they smiled happily and started running toward Ferda. I then felt the first wave of homesickness, and all I wanted was to go back home and hug my own mom and dad. Of course, Macit and Shenaz also gave me a big hug and tried to make me feel like a part of the Şaşzade family, but nothing they did would take away this horrible feeling in my stomach.

Because the Şaşzade’s were staying at their summer home in Çesme, we had ANOTHER hour long drive. By the time we arrived home, it was way past midnight, and I was more than ready to go to bed. The next morning, well, afternoon, considering I woke up at 3 p.m., everyone was already awake. And by everyone, I mean Macit, Shenaz, Ferda, Shenaz’s parents, and two of Ferda’s cousins, Cem and Kerim. I was not ready to meet my entire host family just yet. This sent another overwhelming shock through my body. I was already off to a bad start, I thought. I was completely homesick, and all I wanted to do was call my mom. Every time someone would attempt to talk to me, I would get tears in my eyes. When I was able to speak with my mom, I let it all out, and the tears streamed out of my eyes. “Mom!” I cried, “I just want to come home. I hate it here. They’re all so weird! No one ever speaks English unless I ask them a question. I’m sick of it. Please! Just let me come home already!” My mom finally put a stop to it, and said to me, “If you keep crying every time we speak, I will NOT talk to you until you get home in three weeks. I’ll be checking in with Macit to make sure you’re getting along with Ferda and actually trying to get an experience out of this. I paid way too much money for you to just waste your time in Turkey.” That was enough for me. Once I heard my mom wouldn’t talk to me, I never let another tear fall.

Over the next few days, Macit and Shenaz did everything in their power to include me with their family, and make me feel at home. They thought I was too skinny, and so they would place a meal in front of me any time I was just sitting around. I knew I would never go hungry with these people. Food was one of the first things to start opening my mind to the new culture. Everything they ate was so different from American hot dogs and hamburgers. I surprisingly really enjoyed the Turkish food (desserts and a sandwich called a “Kumru” became staple parts in my diet).


I was fortunate enough to be hosted by an upper-class family, and so we were able to take many trips around to historical sites in Turkey. My favorite two, which really opened my eyes, were Ephesus (a major city in ancient Anatolia) and the Virgin Mary’s home. They were the most breath-taking places I have ever been. I actually saw where the Virgin Mary lived after her son was born. These excursions taught me a lot about the Turkish culture and history. I was really starting to open up and appreciate everything about the beautiful country.


During my time in Turkey, I was able to meet many of Ferda’s friends, and actually become very close with three of them, Idil, Ipek and Aylin. I was very wary when meeting new people here, not knowing what to expect when I was introduced. Almost all of the teenagers I met here knew how to speak English, which made my whole experience much easier. I learned that Turkish and American teenagers are very much alike. We’re interested in the same things, like music (they mostly listen to American Rap!), partying and clubbing, shopping, going to the beach, all of those sorts of things. I was so surprised that we were so much alike, even though we were from complete different cultures, and on total opposite sides of the world. I was never taught much about Turkey, or even the Muslim culture, so I just kind of grouped them with Middle-Eastern Muslims, with all the women wearing headdresses, covering their whole body, and everyone being ultra-conservative. I was proved wrong when I made all these new friends.

Three weeks later, it was over. Even though Ferda and I didn’t get off to a great start in America, we became as close as sisters during the second half of the exchange. She helped me a great deal in overcoming my irrational fears and made sure I was okay every step of the way. It was the last thing I expected when we first met. As I walked to my gate in the airport, Ferda turned to me and said, “Julia, you don’t even know how much I will miss you! I love you so much!” She then began to cry, which made me cry as well. I replied, “I will miss you even more Ferda, you are one of my best friends. Seriously. I love you too!” All of my previous judgmental notions about Turkish people were replaced with real life experiences and true knowledge. I grew very close to the Şaşzade family; I still talk to Ferda every week. What I thought would be three weeks of Hell turned out to be the best time of my life. All I needed to do was let go of my prejudices and open my mind to new, and somewhat intimidating, ideas. Ever since I got back home, it is all I can talk about, even now three years later. I feel so blessed that I was able to have an experience that turned my whole life around, and I hope that everyone has a chance to do so one day.

MEMOIR DRAFT

FOREIGN EXCHANGE TO TURKEY

Waking up at six a.m. to start my day usually isn’t my thing, but for this, I was ecstatic. I was finally getting a chance to venture into a world unknown to me. I was headed to Turkey with my Foreign Exchange student, Ferda, to complete the second half of our exchange. After seventeen hours of flying, we were in Istanbul, Turkey. Ferda received news that our last flight from Istanbul to Izmir was delayed a few hours, so she called up her aunt who lives in Istanbul, and she lent Ferda and me her car and driver for a tour around the city. Before I arrived in Turkey, I imagined it to look like the Aladdin movies, and have sand dunes everywhere with exotic architecture and what not, but my first glimpse of Istanbul was nothing like that. Picture your perfect paradise on a Greek island and that is was these western Turkish cities look like. The sights I saw were unreal, and I began to slowly peel off the judgmental thoughts I had about the country. Istanbul is one of Turkey’s largest cities, all along the mountains you could see the millions of houses and apartments and other buildings. There were brilliant mosques, crowds of people, and the last thing you would expect… beautiful beaches, with sparkling, clear waters. As we drove over the bridge connecting the Asian and European continents, I was overwhelmed with this amazing feeling. All I can remember thinking was “Wow! I am really in Turkey. How crazy is this?!” I was a little nervous for my adventure in this peculiar country, but I was ready for it to start.

We had only been in the car for about an hour, but I was exhausted, and began dozing off. Soon enough, it was time for us to head back to the airport for our final flight to Izmir, Turkey. Thank God this was only a 45 minute flight; I began to think that I would be stuck in the sitting position forever for all the flying. Once we arrived in Izmir and picked up our luggage, Ferda and I headed off to find her parents. Her dad, Macit, and mom, Shenaz, were waiting eagerly for us at the “Arrivals” exit. As soon as they saw us, they smiled happily and started running toward Ferda. It was now that I felt the first wave of homesickness, and all I wanted to do was go back home and hug my own mom and dad. Of course, Macit and Shenaz also gave me a big hug and tried to make me feel like a part of the Şaşzade family, but nothing they did would take away this horrible feeling I had in my stomach.

Because the Şaşzade’s were staying at their summer home, we had to take an hour drive to get to Çesme, Turkey. By the time we arrived home, it was way past midnight, and I was more than ready to go to bed. The next morning, well, afternoon, considering I woke up at 3 p.m., everyone was already awake. And by everyone, I mean Macit, Shenaz, Ferda, Shenaz’s parents, and two of Ferda’s cousins, Cem and Kerim. I was not ready to meet all of my new family members just yet. This sent another overwhelming shock through my body. I was already off to a bad start, I thought. I was completely homesick, and all I wanted to do was call up my mom. When I was finally able to speak with her, I let it all out, and the tears streamed out of my eyes. I told her how much I hated it already, and I just wanted to go back home. I was already sick of Turkey, after only one night. These thoughts continued to flood my mind for the next few days, and every time I would get on the phone with one of my family members, I was cry. My mom finally put a stop to it, and said to me, “If you continue to cry every time we speak, I will not talk to you until you get home in three weeks. I will be checking in with Macit to make sure you’re getting along with Ferda and actually trying to get an experience out of this. I paid way too much money for you to just waste your time in Turkey.” That was enough for me. Instantly I had to change my mind set and try to think positively about things. Once I heard my mom wouldn’t talk to me, I never let another tear fall.

Over the next few days, Macit and Shenaz did everything in their power to include me with their family, and make me feel like home. They thought I was too skinny, and so they would place a meal in front of me any time I was just sitting around. I knew I would never go hungry with these people. Food was one of the first things to start opening my mind to new cultures. Because they were Muslims, they had a somewhat strict diet. They never ate pork, and their favorite meat was veal. I had never tried veal before this, so I was cautious when I took my first bite. I happened to really enjoy it, and it was a good thing because they ate it with every meal. Dinners are very important to the Turkish culture. Like many Spanish cultures, they eat very late. The earliest we ever ate dinner was probably 8:30 p.m. I began to grow very fond of Turkish foods. My favorite dish was a sandwich called a “Kumru”, although I have absolutely no idea what was on it, just lots of meat and cheese and vegetables.

I was fortunate enough to be hosted by an upper-class family, and so we were able to take many trips around to historical sites in Turkey. My favorite two, which really opened my eyes, were Ephesus and the Virgin Mary’s home. They were the most breath-taking places I have ever been. I actually saw where the Virgin Mary lived after her son was born. These excursions taught me a lot about the Turkish culture and history.

During these three weeks in Turkey, I was able to meet many of Ferda’s friends, and actually become very close with three of them, Idil, Ipek and Aylin. I was very wary when meeting new people here, not knowing what to expect when I was introduced to all of them. Almost all of the teenagers I met here knew how to speak English, and that made my whole experience so much easier. I learned that Turkish teenagers are very much like American teenagers. We are all interested in the same things, like music (they mostly listen to American Rap!), partying and clubbing, shopping, going to the beach, all of those sorts of things. I was so surprised that we were so much alike, even though we were from complete different cultures, and on total opposite sides of the world. I was never taught much about Turkey, or even the Muslim culture, so I just kind of grouped them with Middle-Eastern Muslims. I pictured all the women wearing headdresses and covering all of their body, and everyone being very conservative. I was proved wrong when I made all these new friends.

By the time my three weeks were over, and it was time for me to go back home to America, I was extremely sad to leave. If I could have it my way I would’ve stayed there for another month. All of my previous judgmental notions about Turkish people were replaced with real life experiences and true knowledge. I grew very close to the Şaşzade family, I still talk to Ferda every week or so. She has become like a sister to me. What I thought would be three weeks of Hell turned out to be the best time of my life. All I needed to do was let go of my prejudices and open my mind to new, and somewhat intimidating, ideas. Ever since I got back home, it is all I can talk about, even now three years later. The foreign exchange has made me think more about what I want to do as a career (maybe something with travel, or international relations), and I am even thinking of doing a semester studying abroad. I feel so blessed that I was able to have this experience, and I hope that everyone has a chance to do so one day.

Memo

TO: Ms. Moody
FROM: Julia Rice
September 15, 2009

Through the peer review, I received some very good constructive criticism. Andrew, who reviewed the introduction to my memoir, wrote that I did not need much improvement my introduction, and that it engaged him so he is now eager to read about the rest of my experience in Turkey. Though Andrew thought I wrote my beginning well, he made a comment about making the universal meaning of my more apparent in my introduction. While the main meaning of my narrative developed as my trip continued, I think I can at least start to mention it. I can try to incorporate more of my feelings throughout the beginning of my exchange in my first paragraph. This can then help the reader more fully understand my reasons and reactions to everything that is forthcoming in the memoir. I really want my readers to understand the mental journey I took while I was in Turkey, changing from a close-minded American to an experienced world traveler. Another change I can make to my introduction paragraph is adding more dialogue, since the only piece I have is really just something I thought. A few things I would like to talk about in the base of my memoir include the different excursions I took with my host family, the many Turkish people I met and became friends with, the journey my relationship with Ferda took, and some information on the country of Turkey to give my reader more background information. My host parents, Macit and Shenaz, were very welcoming people, and wanted to make sure I had the best time possible while I was with them. So to make certain this happened, they took me to many different historical places located in Turkey, including Ephesus, and the Virgin Mary’s home. Macit and Shenaz we’re very critical pieces in my mental refining throughout the summer. In the last paragraph I will conclude my trip to Turkey. I will explain how my opinions about the Turkish country and culture, and all other cultures for that matter, changed while staying with a Muslim family.

Memoir Draft

FOREIGN EXCHANGE TO TURKEY

Waking up at six a.m. to start my day usually isn’t my thing, but for this, I was ecstatic. I was finally getting a chance to venture into a world unknown to me. I was headed to Turkey with my Foreign Exchange student, Ferda, to complete the second half of our exchange. After seventeen hours of flying, we were in Istanbul, Turkey. Ferda received news that our last flight from Istanbul to Izmir was delayed a few hours, so she called up her aunt who lives in Istanbul, and she lent Ferda and me her car and driver for a tour around the city. Before I arrived in Turkey, I imagined it to look like the Aladdin movies, and have sand dunes every where with exotic architecture and what not, but my first glimpse of Istanbul was nothing like that. Picture your perfect paradise on a Greek island and that is was these western Turkish cities look like. The sights I saw were unreal, and I began to slowly peel off the judgmental thoughts I had about the country. Istanbul is one of Turkey’s largest cities, all along the mountains you could see the millions of houses and apartments and other buildings. There were brilliant mosques, crowds of people, and the last thing you would expect… beautiful beaches, with sparkling, clear waters. As we drove over the bridge connecting the Asian and European continents, I was overwhelmed with this amazing feeling. All I can remember thinking was “Wow! I am really in Turkey. How crazy is this?!” I was a little nervous for my adventure in this crazy country, but I was ready for it to start.

Invention Process

• Grandpa Larry passed away: In the summer of 1998, my grandpa from my dad's side was nearing 80 years old when his doctors diagnosed him with brain cancer. He was given about 6 months to live, but was told that his health would be deterioriating rapidly. Since he lived in Massachusetts, and my family lived in Florida, we thought it would be a good idea to plan a last trip to see him for our Christmas holidays. But my dad thought things over, and decided we should go before the summer was over, and we did. When we saw my Grandpa, he seemed pretty normal to me, and his health wasnt in too bad of shape yet. So we visited for the weekend, and went home thinking everything was going to be okay, and we would still see him in a few months for Christmas. My dad got a call from his mom 2 days later to tell us that Grandpa Larry had fallen down the stairs and was in the hospital for braking his neck. He was put on life support, and was basically in a coma. By that time, my grandma and my dad's siblings had all given up on him, and were just waiting for nature to take its course. No one had any hope left for him, and so my grandma decided to pull the plug on him. Ever since my Grandpa Larry's death, the Rice family has not been the same. We would usually have family reunions every year at his house, and always fly to Boston for Christmases. A few months after his death, my grandma moved out of their house, and the Rice's have not had a reunion since 1998. Also, almost all communication between the family members has been lost. None of my dad's siblings talk to each other much anymore, even though they all live within 10 minutes of each other.

• Changing Schools: My elementary school, Eagle Ridge, went from 4th to 6th grade, but there was a middle school, Westglades, a few miles down the road that began at 6th grade. All of my siblings had gone to middle school starting in 6th grade, and so my mom thought that I should do the same. Everyone my age from Eagle Ridge were staying there for their 6th grade year, except for me. I got to Westglades on my first day not knowing anyone. I was the only person who had come from Eagle Ridge. Everyone in my class had already known the other kids since kindergarten, and they already had their cliques, and groups of friends. I used to be very outgoing and social when I was little. Everything changed that year though. I didn't know a single person in the school, and so I became very quiet and didnt talk to anyone. I went through the whole first semester like this, watching all the other kids with their friends. Slowly I came out of my shell. I started hanging out with two other girls from my homeroom class, and they brought me around to get to know people. It took a long time before I was comfortable with my classmates. This change affected me, and still does today. I am still extremely shy when it comes to meeting new people, or having to speak to a class.

• Rotary Exchange: Three years ago, I signed up for an exchange program through the Rotary Club. I thought this would be the coolest experience in the world. I was assigned to go have an exchange with a Turkish girl, Ferda, for six weeks over the summer. During the first three weeks, Ferda came to stay with my family in Florida. We didn't get along very well at first, because I was being so shy. And then the tough part came, when Ferda and I had to fly to Turkey together for the next half of our exchange. It was very hard on me, since it was my first trip away from home. Ferda was extremely kind to me and tried to make the best of everything. I was terrified of being in another country, and Ferda took notice in this. She took me under her wing and showed me all the great things about her country. By the end of the trip, neither of us wanted to leave the other, and we had become great friends. Going on this exchange program made me learn a lot about myself, and the Turkish culture.